Mother’s Day is this Sunday, May 12, 2013.
Plans are being made for brunch and barbeques to celebrate Mom but what does Mother’s Day look like for those of us who have lost our Mom; especially those who’s mothers have recently passed? How can we get through the day?
If we have kids of our own, the day turns into a celebration for us – but still, for me, something is missing if I don’t honor my Mom in some way, even though she is no longer with me physically.
I lost my Mom on Christmas night 2000 and since then, holidays, especially Mother’s Day are quite different for me. Its not a “bad” thing, just different. I have found beautiful ways to honor and celebrate my Mom. Here are just a few ideas.
Ways to honor Mom in “Spirit”
- Contemplative prayer – quietly remembering
- Looking at pictures, creating a photo album or slideshow
- Spending time with family telling stories about Mom
- Plant flowers or a tree in her honor
- Visit someone else’s mom or call them on the phone
- Watch a movie about a mom
- Create a “grief ritual”
Elaine Childs-Gowell wrote a beautiful little book called Good Grief Rituals: Tools for Healing. I use it in my practice with clients all the time, so much that the pages are starting to wear and come apart. It offers a variety of rituals from the Native American traditions, guided meditations, and EFT-Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping).
Self Care Tips
- Remember to breath – breathing is your best friend (breath deeply and often)
- Drink plenty of fresh water, eat well, and limit alcohol
- Say no if you have to – don’t feel obligated to meet every one else’s needs (you have needs too and you are important)
- Take a bubble bath, take a walk, watch a movie
- Surround yourself with love
- Consider essential oils to help you move through the day and your grief
I use and recommend Young Living™ Essential oils. The oil for grief is “Joy,” according to Carolyn Mein, D.C. in her book Releasing Emotional Patterns with Essential Oils. She has devised a wonderful process to clear emotions using essential oils and your breath. For example, for the emotion of grief, a drop of Joy essential oil is placed on the bridge of the nose. Rubbing your hands together to gather the remaining oil you breath in three times allowing the grief to move through you to the other side, which is the word “happy.” The final step is to place one hand on your forehead while the other hand supports the back of your neck as you say the affirmation; “change brings growth” three times. It is amazing how the combination of the oil, the breath, and the affirmation help to calm and ground the body, allowing the emotion to pass gently and quickly. Other oils to consider include Idaho balsam fir, lemon, german chamomile, rose, frankincense, lavender, and valerian. Young Living also offers many blends for emotional trauma.
The most important thing is that you feel the grief and move through it rather than holding it in. Remember, what you resist persists, but if you relax through it, although difficult, the pain will change with time. And, if you feel stuck in your grief, call a professional to help you move through the process. Grieving is honoring your loved one as well as yourself.
Please feel free to comment on this post. I would love to hear your ideas and the ways you celebrate Mom and process your grief. Happy Mother’s Day!